Confidence: Is There Any for Sale?

Credit: tumblr/seeksthenight

The Good Men Project is a bit of a mixed bag, leaning heavily towards wuss-worthy advice that would make GMP seem progressive and feminist-sympathetic. But a lot of their dating advice (especially their articles by women) seem like a grab bag of wishes that women would oh so love for guys to hear and internalize, even if that advice really does men little good.

And here’s one article by Rachel Rabbit White that so infuriates me, I could hardly get past this one line about what guys need to do in order to get the girls. Summarizing advice by Amanda Marcotte, which she calls “smart and useful” (like she would know), she finishes with this:

Find some real self-confidence, kid.

Which strikes me as kind of, well, cunty. To me that’s the equivalent of telling a woman who complains she can’t find any good men: “Lose fifty pounds and get a nose job, kid.”

Some men are confident by nature, but the vast majority are no more confident than your average woman, which is precisely why so many turn to pick-up artistry. Because confidence isn’t like a pair of shoes that you buy for 100 bucks at S&W. When you have 9 our of a 10 women give you a sneer in response to a smile and a cheery “Hey,” it isn’t easy for most men to just move on and try the next girl. (And that’s aside from the fact that women dehumanizing men as sexual-predator-until-proven-otherwise isn’t exactly a great motivator for men to become all sensitive to women’s oh-I-wish-men-would-respect-women-more kind of whining.)

In the end, I just wish women would stick to giving advice to their fellow females, and leave the advice-for-men to, you know, men. Who actually know, at the end of the day (or night, as the case may be) what they’re up against, and can better tell you what does or doesn’t actually work. Women may not like it, but I say, tough luck for them.

Update: Turns out, just about a year ago, there was a more thorough discussion here about Marcotte’s idiotic just-get-confidence advice. And another discussion here about the overall contents of her dating advice article.

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